Regarding self
"When a woman becomes her own best friend, life is easier." One of my personal favorite role models, Diane Von Furstenberg, quoted this, and it is absolutely the truth. I always expected SO MUCH out of my friends, particularly my best friends, because I knew how much I did for them. Well, you'll never find a friend as good as yourself. You know your deepest and darkest thoughts - you know your annoyances - you know your happy places - you know your comfort foods - you know you, because you ARE you. Simply put, you have this beautiful body and this wonderful mind - love them. The second I started realizing how much I loved myself, and how much I enjoyed being alone, the easier my relationships with other people became. I filled my thoughts with so much love, that it was that much easier for me to give away love via smiles, hugs, advice, compliments. Be confident in who you are. Because sweet little darling angel child, you are so very wonderful.
Don't be embarrassed that you were born and raised in a poor city down south. That poor city will become how you identify yourself. One day, far away in the future, you'll drive back down there after having been moved away for quite some years. Every street sign, every building, every piece of land will ignite your soul. They are your childhood - they are your roots. No matter how big of a life you want, you'll always be rooted in a small town down south, where your only friends are your cousins, and on weekends you don't play, but you pick potatoes and green beans with your family. Then you go and pop those green beans. Then you go and can them. And at that moment in time you will HATE that process, but in the future, that memory will have a soft dream-like glow to it. What I wouldn't give to be back in your shoes, with my cousins and my sisters and my mom and my grandma and my aunts, popping green beans. Stop complaining about it and instead soak in the stories from the strong, beautiful women before you.
Regarding family
Okay buttercup, listen to this one - this one is a big one. You have no idea the amount of guilt that will consume your body in the future for the way you treat every family member you have. You might lose one unexpectedly, and I promise you, your new job will be forever replaying last conversations, last arguments. Your mind will never rest from the constant thought of, "Why did I say that to her? Why would I do that?" So, just don't say things that you wouldn't want said back to you! Don't you DARE victimize yourself and make your sisters the enemies. Don't you even think of doing that. They are you, and you are them. Sisterhood is a beautiful thing. When you look at her, and you want to just punch her in the face, you are really looking at your blood line - your "kind." She came from the same place you did, and she was created from the same cells you were. How beautiful is that?
Give your dad a break, kid. He worked all day and sometimes midnights, too, just to give you that trip to Disney World when you were 5. He worked non stop to fill your closet with pink clothes. He worked his butt off to take you places where you just complained the entire time. Have you ever once heard him complain about going to work? Because I'm the smarter more wiser version of you, and I can tell you the answer to that: No. You have never once heard your dad complain about going to work. Instead of being a little brat to him when he'd walk in the door and he would be tired and grumpy during supper time because he just worked 15 hours straight in the dirty coal field, hug him. And this one is a big one: LOOK at him when you are talking. Don't always look at your mom because you feel more comfortable with her. You will grow up one day and hate that about yourself - you will HATE that you never looked at him when telling stories, though you felt his eyes on you. Looking back, I can see me excitedly telling a story to mom, and seeing him look at me, waiting for my eyes to connect with his, and after he realized they weren't going to, he'd slump his head back down. Please give him more attention. Can you imagine the love of your life not making eye contact with you? Not hugging you when you walked through the door? Imagine that pain - that is what your dad feels. You are his girl - you are one of the great loves of his life. Give him a great love back.
Remember that you are your mom's life. You are her most prized possession. You are an interconnected team of strength, beauty, and love. She taught you how to speak, how to carry yourself, how to love, how to laugh... she taught you almost every single one of your "how to's." Give her respect for that. Give her friendship for that. Instead of planning to hang out with your friends every..single..night, ask your mom if she wants to hang out. Bake cookies with her. Go catch a movie. Or, just get into your pjs and chat with her. You have no idea how much that will mean to her. Well, you will when you have a daughter of your own and she decides to hang out with you on a Friday night.Your mom will be crazy, your mom will be the most annoying person EVER- but it isn't because she is bored and decided to be crazy and annoying one day. It is, most likely, because she is fighting for you since you are too weak, too blind, too small to fight for yourself. Listen to her always - she has your heart held up on a pedestal and guarded by the most ferocious lioness this world has ever seen - her. When she speaks advice to you, know that it is spoken with the most sincere care, affection, and protection. Take her advice often. Mom really does know best. Period. End of story. Close the book. Walk away. Hug her. Love her. Tell her you love her.
Regarding friends
Oh sweet little girl, no matter how much you think popularity matters, it doesn't. How I wish I would've held onto friendships that were formed out of pure love and honesty and silliness, rather than WORK at getting the popular crowd to like me - to even notice me. I don't care how badly you think being popular will make your life better, it won't. In many ways, it will make it worse. I don't care how pretty that girl is, how many guys like her --- if she doesn't treat you with respect and love, don't continue trying to be her friend. Walk away knowing you are a freaking queen, and that is her loss for not taking notice. I wish I could hug you and tell you to stop comparing yourself to her, because though it looks like she has everything together, she doesn't. You'll soon find that out. And the reason she is so nasty to you, is because secretly she isn't happy. Happy people don't hurt people. Hurt people, hurt people. And I'm sorry you thought her attention was something to seek. Because it wasn't, it isn't, and it will never be something that affects your day-to-day life. You have a beautiful life ahead of you, full of beautifully wonderful people- walk away from the popular crowd and find a "Genevie" crowd. Find people who make you better. Find people who make you laugh. Whether that is a group of 10 or a group of 1, all a girl needs is one good friend, and she'll be okay. But never, NEVER, never ever never, change who you are to be popular. Stay you - whether that makes you a loser, or the most popular girl at school, stay you.
Regarding love
No matter how much you think that one guy you dated in high school is meant to be with you, no matter how hard you try to make him your "perfect partner," if he isn't meant to be for you - LET IT GO. Please, for the love of God, LET IT GO. Don't put yourself through 4 years of absolute mental abuse just because you can't swallow the pride that something you put your heart and soul into failed. LET IT GO. Sure, people will think, "I knew they'd never work out" and that KILLS YOU to give certain people that pride and snobbery, but LET IT GO. You are beautiful, you are wonderful, you ARE a catch. Don't let him tell you any differently. And if he does, get the hell out of that relationship. It'll be hard - and your heart will feel like it's shutting down - but you will find happiness again. I promise you. And I know you roll your eyes when people tell you that and you will spend every bit of love and energy on trying to make that man love you the way you know you deserve to be loved, but just please - Love yourself enough to know when to walk away. Self love the hell out of yourself. Mental hug every 5 seconds. I don't care - just get out. You'll have a lot of really great relationships in your life that you'll look back on and smile, and giggle. But please, learn when to walk away from the guy that you THINK you belong with. Because again, your mom was right, when you know - you know. It's that simple. You just know.
And the most important thing I can tell you, is to make sure, no matter what, you go to that Tiger's game on May 4th, 2009. I know when your friend asks you, you will be tired and not want to go out - but make sure you go. If you do anything, do this. You will meet the great love of your life. Your life will turn from black and white to color. Get ready... it's beautiful.
